Things and Stuff #3

Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition: LARP, Karen, edits, belt, Trenzalore

Thing 1: Empire
Not the magazine, this time - the roleplaying game. Jessie is, right now, in a field pretending to be a lizard-person and I hope having a marvellous time. It's been on my mind this week because I've been making some props for her, part of which I wrote about on Tuesday.

My favourite one - also the most complicated one and the last one, which meant I finished it around 2am on Wednesday. I still feel sleep deprived. But kind of proud. (C) me

I love making props for LARP, and I enjoy talking about LARP and hearing other people talk about it and watching Jessie write plots for Odyssey. It all seems really fun. But when I actually think about carrying heavy rucksacks out into a muddy field, to put on complicated costumes that I then have to store somewhere in my house when it's already full of Jessie's kit, and then sleeping in a tent for the weekend in between attempting to stay in character and remembering the rules and actually talking to people... I feel a bit like this:

Neil Gaiman being truthy as usual, (C) Craig Ferguson and the internet

Thing 2: Karen from WP has her own Guardian fashion blog!
Karen's run an amazing sewing blog, Did You Make That, for ages, and now she's going to be giving out awesome stitching wisdom on the Guardian site as well. Hooray Karen!

Thing 3: Edits.
The edits are here. I am equal parts excited and scared out of my wits. As with most actual writing work there's not a lot else I can say about it right now but I'll keep you posted.

Me (C) the internet

Thing 4: my new white belt, although I mostly ended up talking about being fat - if you don't want to read about that, you can skip to thing 5, it's got a brilliant Doctor Who joke in it
As someone who's been fat for the majority of my life I am distinctly leery of ever talking about food or anything I may do with my body, up to and including things like going for a walk or buying clothes, because people feel entitled to judge people like me, no matter what we're doing. Eating a burger? Fatso. Eating a salad? Thank god she's on a diet, she's such a fatso. Lying on the sofa? You will die alone and have to be winched out of your house. Doing some exercise? Haha look at that delusional sweaty face, she thinks she's Jessica Ennis or something.

Nobody actually says those things to me - except me, all the time, every day forever. But nobody has to say them for me to want to minimise people's opportunity to think them. The culture I live in reinforces these things, and even if it didn't I learned it at school and it's stuck with me just like quadratic equations haven't. I wish I could say that in the decade since leaving school nobody has said mean things to me at all, but unfortunately that's not true - I still get mocked in the street, not regularly, but not never. And let's not forget this is the internet: for every body positive blog there are fifty Youtube comments and a hundred adverts for 'simple tricks' to turn your disgusting flabby body into something more socially acceptable.

I swear, if I could reach through the screen and punch the person who invented those adverts in the mouth, I absolutely would.

And I'd try to keep my wrist straight, push from my back foot so the power comes from my torso, and keep my elbow up. Because I've joined a local martial arts school. Because... I thought I would. They had to specially order me a uniform big enough, but I've got a belt. It's white. I love it. I've been to two classes and I really enjoyed them, so there.

Thing 5: We've gone to Trenzalore by mistake!

Perfect observation is perfect (C) ThetaSigma8

The Doctor Who finale was brilliant. I was so relieved.

Things and Stuff #2

Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition: Cornetto, Lemon, moving, Clara, Videblogisodes

On my mind this week: almost all nerd stuff. This is a thing you should probably get used to.

Thing 1: This trailer

OMGYES (C) Pegg/Wright and Universal

It looks like Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead had a baby and raised it in the Village of the Damned and Mark Heap is in it and I can't wait.

Thing 2: Liz Lemon

Our Lady of Having It All (C) heymonster

I've been watching a lot of 30 Rock and Liz Lemon is basically my hero. She is funny and nerdy and fairly competent and I love her. I love her food obsession, and her amazing relationship with Jack, and the way she handles Jenna and Tracy, and her Princess Leia outfit, and her boyfriends, and her attitude to sex, and the way she manages to make the phrase 'I want to go to there' genuinely hilarious.

But there is a flaw in the perfection that is Lemon: she's TV Ugly. In reality, Tina Fey is gorgeous, but people in the show act as if she's ordinary-looking. Lemon wears completely normal clothes and people comment on them as if she's wearing a paper bag. Lemon eats lots of junk food in a comedic fashion and people make jokes about her health and eating habits that wouldn't be funny at all if there were any outward sign that the junk food was actually damaging her health.

I think the reason the show completely gets away with it is because it knows she's TV Ugly. There are enough jokes about unrealistic expectations and women's bodies that the show can wink to the women in the audience: it's all right, we know that by real life standards this woman is very attractive and wearing perfectly good clothes - it's the people making the jokes about her who are all screwed up.

Thing 3: my attempts to move house
It would be way too much information (and very boring!) to go into this in any detail. I am attempting to move house, it is on my mind a lot. I've started to find it hard to watch nonsense property programmes on Channel Four.

Thing 4: This Mary Sue recap of last week's Doctor Who (spoilers for Nightmare in Silver, obviously) and the insights in the blog and the comments about Clara's role and presentation in the series.
I think it sums up all of the issues way better than I can here - I made a couple of comments that I pretty much stand by, if you're interested in my take.

I want to care, I really really do (C) The BBC

Basically: I think this series of Doctor Who needs a better script editor, but in lieu of someone with actual experience, can I just do it? I'll just borrow the TARDIS and go back a year and fix it so it's all a lot more coherent and so that they bring Governess Clara on the TARDIS like they were planning to do, and then I won't be worried that the final episode might be completely nonsensical. That's OK if I do that, right Steven? You'll get all the credit. Call me.

Thing 5: The Empire Magazine Cannes Videblogisodes are back!
I love Empire, I love their podcast, and I love this silly little video.