Things and Stuff #8

Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition: no editing, much ado, fancy cannibals, incredible penthouses, and Skulk artwork

Thing 1: NO EDITING
Wow, has it really only been four days since Monday? It feels like a lifetime. I suppose that would explain why my house isn't magically spotlessly clean yet. 

Thing 2: Much Ado About Joss Whedon's Amazing Garden
I went to see Much Ado About Nothing yesterday - it was really good, and I'm very jealous of his garden (for those not up on their Joss Facts, he directed the whole thing in his own house in twelve days). The acting was particularly wonderful - Alexis Denisof and Amy Acker are completely brilliant and it was fabulous to see Sean Maher as Don John - just dripping with malice. 

Also, Nathan Fillion is a much much better Dogberry than Michael Keaton (C) Joss Whedon

There was some inevitable strain from the modern day setting. It raised questions about what the Prince and Benedick and co had been doing before they arrived back from 'the action' that the play couldn't answer (it was obviously not any kind of actual warfare). And no matter how much you try to show that Claudio is concerned that Hero's cheating on him, and not just that she's not a virgin... all the text is still virginity-focused. Claudio was definitely a bit wet, but then Claudio is a Great Big Wet Weed in the play and there's not much any actor can do about it. The whole wedding meltdown scene is frustrating at the best of times because Claudio lets it go on so damn long before he actually comes out with the point, and Hero herself has so few lines while she's being accused. 

Still: it's a great play and a great film adaptation. Alexis Denisof's sponteneous push-ups are basically worth the admission by themselves. It's not on in very many cinemas so you should catch it quickly if you're going to!

Thing 3: The Adventures of Empath and Fancy Cannibal
Also known as the NBC series Hannibal, based on the Hannibal Lecter books/movies. I haven't been watching the show, but I've been reading Cleolinda Jones' detailed recaps of the episodes. They are, just like Movies in Fifteen Minutes and most of the other things Cleolinda does, absolutely brilliant. It's not at all suitable for children or anyone with a particularly weak stomach - obviously, on account of the series is full of cannibalism and other horrible things. But they are also really funny and clever and full of general awesomeness. It's not easy to capture the appeal, but I highly highly recommend you give the recap of Episode One a go if you're up for Wendigo metaphors, puppies, mental breakdowns and murder wizardry.

Thing 4: these two incredible New York penthouses 
I needed to get a hang on the floorplans of fancy penthouses, for Skulk Reasons, and I came across these two. Yep, I'll take both. Just charge the rent to Working Partners and Strange Chemistry, if we share it between them I'm sure they won't mind...

15 Central Park West (C) the architects, presumably, from ny.curbed.com

The first floor of the City Spire Penthouse (C) ditto - click through for pictures of the inside, they are amazing.

Thing 5: I've seen some Skulk artwork
I KNOW! How dare I bury the lede down here at the end of a Things and Stuff? Well, because I can't show it to you yet. But you can take my word for it, it's 100% awesome and cool and gorgeous and so exciting and I'm so excited about it and I can't wait to share it. Watch this space...

Things and Stuff #7

Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition I am too busy to blog, so instead: foxes, butterflies, ravens, rats, spiders. 

Warning for arachnophobics: Thing 5 is a close-up photo of a spider. I've picked the spider image that gave me the least creeping horrors, but your tastes may vary. 

Thing 1: a Skulk

Gorgeous (C) unfortunately I can't find the photo source for this one, please let me know if this is your photo, it is beautiful.

Thing 2: a Rabble

Also known as a flutter or a swarm, but rabble is so much cooler (C) National Geographic

Thing 3: a Conspiracy

Oh yeah, this is definitely a conspiracy (C) Wikipedia

Thing 4: a Horde

The cutest, laziest horde (C) photo source also unknown

Thing 5: a Cluster

This is not a Cluster, because it's only one spider, but it was hard to find a photo of several spiders that did not give me the creeping horrors, so I went with the one that made me smile (C) Uda Dennie

Things and Stuff #6

I'm late! I totally forgot to do my Friday post this week. 

In any case, Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition: exposition, Once, ghosts, eyeballs and editing

Thing 1: Exposition

How much is too much? Too little? How long can someone realistically talk without being interrupted?

I've been editing like a demon this week. My brain has turned to mush. Here is a picture of a bunny.

Yep. (C) www.acuteaday.com

Thing 2: Once

I went to see Once on Wednesday, and it was really awesome. The sheer musical skills on stage were enough to keep me hypnotically glued to the stage - add to that some really lovely emotional moments and a couple of great laughs, and you have a very good night out.

The play itself didn't entirely live up to the flawless performances - I didn't care quite as much about the central relationship as I wanted to, and the girl definitely starts out as a straight down the line manic pixie dream girl and arguably stays that way even though very much does have her own stuff going on. But in the context of something that was otherwise so, so lovely, those are actually quite small problems.

Gold (C) the Broadway cast at the Tony Awards

Thing 3: Ghost stories

Two nights in a row this week I've dreamed complete ghost stories, with endings, and both made total sense at the time. I need to try to write them down. One was a slow burn creepy thing that started out normal and ended up with a mother and baby ghost and bugs everywhere, and the other was a huge haunted castle story with a group of tourists from the 30s, a million doors that looked exactly the same and a brilliant twist ending... that I just can't put my finger on in the light of day. There was some good stuff in there, though.  

Thing 4: Giant gelatin eyeballs

I helped make two of these this week. It was supposed to be a prop for Odyssey, but it didn't turn out quite as well as we'd hoped - the first one I threw away prematurely, and the second one worked better, but then I forgot to put it in the bag that J was taking onto the field. So now I have a slightly broken giant gelatin eyeball in my fridge.

Thing 5: I haven't got time to do a thing 5, I have to get back to editing. Here is a really nice picture of a fox having some thoughts.

Lovely (C) Philpen

7 Very Good Reasons You Should Pre-Order Skulk

I know, I said I was going to do a blog about obscure Tolkien characters next. But Luthien's going to have to wait, because on Friday I found out that SKULK IS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER.

Every positive step along the publication trail feels like, to paraphrase Martin Lawrence, stuff just got real. When an agent asks to read the book, when you sign up with them, when a publisher makes happy noises to your agent about your story, when they take it to acquisitions, when they make an offer, when you sign a contract, when you get your edits...

But the biggest stuff just got really real jolt so far has definitely been discovering that right now this minute you can go along to your preferred seller of books and give them money in exchange for your very own actual copy of Skulk.

Why should you pre-order it, though? I mean, it'll still be there when October rolls around. Well, here are some very good reasons:

1: Pre-orders help me sell more books
When bookshops and libraries and internet book stockists see that people are pre-ordering a book, especially a debut, it makes them look at that book and that writer differently. It makes them think, 'hmm, I see people actually want to read this book. Is this the next Hunger Games? We'd better make sure we've got a couple of copies in stock.' That means more copies in shops, which means more people find out about it. I have no pretensions that Skulk is the next Hunger Games, but they don't have to know that. The more people who pre-order Skulk, or go into bookshops and ask where they can get a copy, the more we can trick bookshops into thinking maybe this is a book that could make us all rich.

2: Going into a bookshop to pre-order helps them sell other books too
Because let's be frank, you're not going to go in there and pre-order a book without looking around and maybe buying a little something for your summer holiday, are you? And even if you do somehow manage that, you'll be giving a bookshop money which makes them more successful which lets them buy more books which makes the whole industry better. Pre-order Skulk, become a benefactor for all literature forever.

3: Pre-orders help spread word of mouth which is basically the driving force of publishing nowadays and all that stands between Skulk and the NYT bestseller list
Especially if you take a second to tell someone else that you've ordered it! Perhaps on the internet...

4: You'll be the first to get a copy
And that's just awesome. If you love it, you can buy copies for everyone you know, and if you hate it you can start collecting dry wood for the bonfire. (Better buy up all the copies, that way you can make sure nobody ever reads it, and we want that fire to get nice and toasty).

5: If you order it in the next week, you'll be able to say you bought a copy of the book before it was finished
This freaks me out a little bit, but it's true. I'm writing this post as procrastination from editing the book! So really what you're buying if you order Skulk this week is a world of infinite possibility. By the time it gets to you it could be anything! (It's not going to be anything, it's going to be Skulk - but right now it could be anything. Oooooooooh.)

6: You'll probably forget
That is, if you're anything like me. You'll forget that you put 'totally go and buy a copy of Skulk when it comes out' on your mental to do list. If you pre-order it now, you'll get a handy reminder when it comes out in October, in the form of a copy of the book, which is the best kind of reminder.

7: You'll probably forget
The awesome flipside to forgetfulness? Surprise book! At the beginning of October you'll hear a thud on your doormat/open the door for the postie/get a 'you weren't here' slip through your letter box, and you'll think 'what's this? It's from my favourite book-selling operation. But I didn't order anything in the last 5-7 working days...' And then you'll open it and discover it's Skulk and hopefully not be too disappointed. It's like you're buying your future self a surprise present.

So go, go to Amazon or Foyles or Blackwells or Waterstones or your local indie bookshop or library and tell them you'd like a copy of Skulk.

Please?

Things and Stuff #5

Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition: Malorie, Thrones, Glorious, blogging, Ninjago

Thing 1 : Malorie Blackman is the new Children's Laureate!
She is such a brilliant writer and this is such a brilliant choice - if you don't know much about her (I suspect everyone who is reading this will know more about her than I do, but still) and you're wondering why it's brilliant, you should read this Guardian interview.

(It was a huge huge honour to have her as the writers' honorary chair for Undiscovered Voices 2012, sh'e's a wonderful person and the very idea that she's actually read the first chapter of Skulk is sort of mind-blowing.)

Thing 2: This week's episode of Game of Thrones
I'm not going to go into it in any great detail. But I was expecting something pretty amazing, and my reaction still went a little something like this:

Peterson isn't, is he? (C) the BBC

Thing 3: Glorious!
The concert on Tuesday night was really, really awesome. I'm still buzzing a little bit. 290 singers make an incredible noise and as usual David brought out the best in all of us. And it's going to be on the radio on Monday!

Thing 4: I didn't get a sensible blog up this Tuesday
I was due to, because it's been a whole two weeks. To be fair, I had work followed by lunch followed by work followed by a concert. But all that really means is I should've thought about that in advance and written one on Monday.

Sorry about that. I've got one I like for this Tuesday! Maybe don't get your hopes up for any kind of measurable insightfulness or relevance to anything, though: it's about obscure characters from The Lord of the Rings. Sorry.

Thing 5: toy-based children's television
Did you know, Lego: Ninjago is actually really entertaining? Incredibly strange - it's set in ancient China but the bad guys in episode one are a skeleton motorbike gang, which is something I'm not convinced we could get away with in any WP book series. But Ninjago is also actually pretty funny, inventive and exciting. I have to admit to also having a major fondness for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and laughing out loud at episodes of Bob the Builder more than once.

I've watched all of these shows on Youtube, of course. What is a te-le-vi-sion? (C) Keith Chapman

It's slightly hard to accept that these stories that are explicitly created to sell toys (so much so that Lego Ninjago isn't actually shown on any UK channels because of laws about advertising to children) does not have to be creatively bankrupt. There's something definitely a bit icky about the concept of the ever-expanding merchandising opportunities that go with these shows. Did you know each Ninjago character has three different costumes? And weapons? And a dragon each? And lots of different vehicles and locations and bits and pieces?

I don't think you could argue that that aspect doesn't matter when you're looking at the TV shows that children watch (and they do watch Ninjago, apparently - they just watch it on youtube). But I am actually really comforted to know that as well as some genius business brains wringing every last penny out of pestered parents... there's actually someone behind the scenes writing engaging plots and funny jokes as well. If they're going to be hooked on advertising dressed up as drama, and let's face it, they are... it might as well be good.

Things and Stuff #4

Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition: bestsellers, concert, varnish, Gunnerkrigg, eagles

Thing 1: These two really interesting posts about what makes a book a bestseller
First, John Green posted about the factors that he thinks came together to make The Fault In Our Stars the phenomenon that it is. He talks about his editor, his publicist, his publishing house, the book itself, and the evangelical readers. He also explains why he doesn't think that his massive online presence or his gender have very much to do with it. Critics loved the book, but who made sure the critics read it? Why could bookshops easily display his previous books as a set?

Like this (C) Karen Kavett, who designed the lovely box art

Secondly, Jennifer Barnes takes this idea and expands upon it. She talks about publishing success as a flow-chart with lots of feedback loops, where every aspect of the book and the author continually feed into the book's chances of success. She argues (and in my opinion she's spot on) that elements like the author's gender can't be dismissed as part of the equation but it's not helpful to imagine they exist in a vacuum. If you're interested in publishing and books and bookselling, read this post! It's a bit long but it explains all this far better than I could.

Thing 2: The first thirty seconds of I Was Glad
I was on The One Show this week! Check out the Youtube clip of it here. My choir, Crouch End Festival Chorus, supplied a little group of singers to illustrate a conversation about the anniversary of the coronation, which is on Tuesday, June the 4th.

Not at all coincidentally, we're doing a concert on that evening in the Royal Festival Hall, including Walton's Coronation Te Deum, various coronation hymns and Belshazzar's Feast, which is one of my favourite pieces in the world. And we're being joined by our sort of sister-choir the Hertfordshire Chorus and the Dessoff Choir all the way from New York City. There will be 291 of us. It's going to be pretty amazing. If you're in London on the 4th, you should come!

Thing 3: this nailvarnish
The colour is called The Iron Price.

WE DO NOT SOW (C) me, varnish by Fanchromatic Nails

It's come out much redder in this picture - in person it's much more of a rusty red-brown colour with massive chunks of red and silver. Looks like an old boat's been torn apart in a horrific sea battle and the result is painted on my nails. I love it.

Thing 4: this page of Gunnerkrigg Court
Gunnerkrigg Court is a really, really cool webcomic about two friends who go to a very strange school. Annie's got a magic stone and a way of getting on with strange creatures, and Kat is a mechanical genius. There are ghosts, fairies, lots of robots, spider demons, a giant crab and the trickster god Coyote. There's a forest and an industrial complex, divided by a huge chasm. People can teleport and go on field trips into space. And the evolution of the art style is also amazing to watch, if you're into that sort of thing. It's awesome, and well worth the time to read from the beginning if you never have.

Also there's a fox-creature in it which I love (C) Tom Siddell, available at Topatoco

There have been a few hints of romance - there are some older student characters who are boyfriend and girlfriend, and a very sad storyline about a boy who was also a bird. And there's also a relationship between a robot and a shadow which is just beautiful. But the comic has also been dropping hints for a while that Kat isn't straight, and I think it'd be hard to read it without feeling at some point as if Kat and Annie could be an item at some point in the future. But the problem with those feelings is that in general, they don't come to anything. I have a whole post on subtext and gay characters and fanfiction planned for some other time, but I'm used to recognising subtext but not holding my breath that it would ever become text.

Am I supposed to resist including two pieces of art from GC here? Well, tough. It's gorgeous. (C) Tom Siddell, also available as a print from Topatoco

This week, finally, a girl asked Kat out and she said yes.

I am so, so pleased about this. Not just because I want there to be gay characters in everything, though let's be honest, I sort of do. But because there's really not enough of the sweet, age-appropriate romance for tweens with gay characters. I think it's probably getting better, but there still aren't enough stories about gay tweens at all, let alone ones that aren't preachy and awkward. Kat's sexuality is a naturally-building, slow-burn storyline and I love it because it's what real life ought to be like: not substantially different than if one of the girls had been a boy.

Thing 5: Crystal Palace 1 - 0 Watford
YAAAAAAY EAGLES! We're going into the Premier League! We're going to be the worst team in the best league!

Some football players I feel vaguely guilty that I can't name, (C) Crystal Palace FC

I'm not the biggest Palace supporter in the world - I almost never actually watch football and I've only been to one game (it was a play-off, and we lost), but I still have a very soft spot for them in my heart. They are perpetual underdogs somehow, despite actually being quite good. And now they're Premier League underdogs! GET IN.

Things and Stuff #3

Things and Stuff is a grab-bag of things that've been on my mind this week. In this edition: LARP, Karen, edits, belt, Trenzalore

Thing 1: Empire
Not the magazine, this time - the roleplaying game. Jessie is, right now, in a field pretending to be a lizard-person and I hope having a marvellous time. It's been on my mind this week because I've been making some props for her, part of which I wrote about on Tuesday.

My favourite one - also the most complicated one and the last one, which meant I finished it around 2am on Wednesday. I still feel sleep deprived. But kind of proud. (C) me

I love making props for LARP, and I enjoy talking about LARP and hearing other people talk about it and watching Jessie write plots for Odyssey. It all seems really fun. But when I actually think about carrying heavy rucksacks out into a muddy field, to put on complicated costumes that I then have to store somewhere in my house when it's already full of Jessie's kit, and then sleeping in a tent for the weekend in between attempting to stay in character and remembering the rules and actually talking to people... I feel a bit like this:

Neil Gaiman being truthy as usual, (C) Craig Ferguson and the internet

Thing 2: Karen from WP has her own Guardian fashion blog!
Karen's run an amazing sewing blog, Did You Make That, for ages, and now she's going to be giving out awesome stitching wisdom on the Guardian site as well. Hooray Karen!

Thing 3: Edits.
The edits are here. I am equal parts excited and scared out of my wits. As with most actual writing work there's not a lot else I can say about it right now but I'll keep you posted.

Me (C) the internet

Thing 4: my new white belt, although I mostly ended up talking about being fat - if you don't want to read about that, you can skip to thing 5, it's got a brilliant Doctor Who joke in it
As someone who's been fat for the majority of my life I am distinctly leery of ever talking about food or anything I may do with my body, up to and including things like going for a walk or buying clothes, because people feel entitled to judge people like me, no matter what we're doing. Eating a burger? Fatso. Eating a salad? Thank god she's on a diet, she's such a fatso. Lying on the sofa? You will die alone and have to be winched out of your house. Doing some exercise? Haha look at that delusional sweaty face, she thinks she's Jessica Ennis or something.

Nobody actually says those things to me - except me, all the time, every day forever. But nobody has to say them for me to want to minimise people's opportunity to think them. The culture I live in reinforces these things, and even if it didn't I learned it at school and it's stuck with me just like quadratic equations haven't. I wish I could say that in the decade since leaving school nobody has said mean things to me at all, but unfortunately that's not true - I still get mocked in the street, not regularly, but not never. And let's not forget this is the internet: for every body positive blog there are fifty Youtube comments and a hundred adverts for 'simple tricks' to turn your disgusting flabby body into something more socially acceptable.

I swear, if I could reach through the screen and punch the person who invented those adverts in the mouth, I absolutely would.

And I'd try to keep my wrist straight, push from my back foot so the power comes from my torso, and keep my elbow up. Because I've joined a local martial arts school. Because... I thought I would. They had to specially order me a uniform big enough, but I've got a belt. It's white. I love it. I've been to two classes and I really enjoyed them, so there.

Thing 5: We've gone to Trenzalore by mistake!

Perfect observation is perfect (C) ThetaSigma8

The Doctor Who finale was brilliant. I was so relieved.